Revenge is a really harsh word. I would hardly use it to describe the birth of my latest brainchild, the Venezuelan Adrenaline Tour.
In order to act out revenge you must first have ample motive. You must feel wronged in some way, shape of form. Sure, three weeks ago Stevie subjected me to a museum tour in Cartagena that many people would consider just left of torture (remember the tour here). But I actually enjoyed those 105 degree afternoons walking through art galleries. Who doesn’t like visiting a museum or 20?
I can assure you the Venezuelan Adrenaline Tour was born from nothing but the purest intentions. I simply wanted to share some moments in nature with my beloved wife. You know, some paragliding and fun afternoon canyoneering. How was I suppose to know what would happen? How can I be held responsible?
You can read about our paragliding experience here. I was very proud of Stevie. You have no idea how hard it was to look into her beautiful brown eyes as she began to cry right before take off. It crushed me. En serio.
Our next adventure was a 3 hour canyoneering tour. (See photo above. Click it to enlarge and see if you can find Stevie rappelling off the waterfall).
Canyoneering Defined – The sport of exploring canyons as by climbing, rappelling, and swimming down steep technical descents
My first indication that something was awry on our canyoneering expedition occurred when I put the following four facts together in my mind…
1) Nobody was asked to sign a liability release
2) Nobody was asked if they knew how to swim
3) My wetsuit had 10 patches on it, indicating abrasive contact with rocks
4) The climbing gear (which I know well) looked like it was from the golden age in Yosemite.
Unfortunately my data crunching was slow and the “super extreme” output popped out well after we were underway.
Hell, what did I expect in Venezuela? The realization that there wouldn’t be any lolly pops at the end of the tour put a huge damper on my mood.
Photos and Video – Due to extremely wet conditions, I had trouble capturing good photos, but I got a few shots and 2 good videos. Check em’ out…
After our guides gave everyone an awesome 30 second lesson on how to rappel, we were underway. This photo is the first rappel and was no F’ing joke. Notice the rope disappears into the curtain of the waterfall, which was thumping. This offered an excellent simulation of drowning and was a little extreme, even by my standards.I went first and half way down I started thinking about the best address for Stevie to send the divorce papers.
Our group started looking a little tired so about 3 hours into our “3 hour tour” I asked the guide how much farther to the bottom. She replied that we were half way there. I did the quick math and enthusiastically announced that we were getting twice the value for our money! Stevie did not think that was funny.
I had done a pretty good job keeping Stevie calm up until the final rappel. We walked around a corner and saw a HUGE horizon line. The rap was about 120 feet into a deep pool of turbulent water. From there you had to disconnect from the rope while treading water, swim into a cave, and then swim down another rapid. It is my belief that this was where the seeds of revenge were first planted in Stevie’s mind.
More seriously, I love that Stevie and I open doors for each other in our relationship. I would never see all the amazing museums if she was not in my life, and she would not experience nature in its many raw forms.
I love that we can share our passions while broadening each others horizons.