The Venezuelan Adrenaline Tour

Revenge is a really harsh word. I would hardly use it to describe the birth of my latest brainchild, the Venezuelan Adrenaline Tour.

In order to act out revenge you must first have ample motive. You must feel wronged in some way, shape of form. Sure, three weeks ago Stevie subjected me to a museum tour in Cartagena that many people would consider just left of torture (remember the tour here). But I actually enjoyed those 105 degree afternoons walking through art galleries. Who doesn’t like visiting a museum or 20?

I can assure you the Venezuelan Adrenaline Tour was born from nothing but the purest intentions. I simply wanted to share some moments in nature with my beloved wife. You know, some paragliding and fun afternoon canyoneering. How was I suppose to know what would happen? How can I be held responsible?

You can read about our paragliding experience here. I was very proud of Stevie. You have no idea how hard it was to look into her beautiful brown eyes as she began to cry right before take off. It crushed me. En serio.

Our next adventure was a 3 hour canyoneering tour. (See photo above. Click it to enlarge and see if you can find Stevie rappelling off the waterfall).

Canyoneering Defined – The sport of exploring canyons as by climbing, rappelling, and swimming down steep technical descents

Now THAT is a perfect couples sport.

My first indication that something was awry on our canyoneering expedition occurred when I put the following four facts together in my mind…

1) Nobody was asked to sign a liability release
2) Nobody was asked if they knew how to swim
3) My wetsuit had 10 patches on it, indicating abrasive contact with rocks
4) The climbing gear (which I know well) looked like it was from the golden age in Yosemite.

Unfortunately my data crunching was slow and the “super extreme” output popped out well after we were underway.

Hell, what did I expect in Venezuela? The realization that there wouldn’t be any lolly pops at the end of the tour put a huge damper on my mood.

Photos and Video – Due to extremely wet conditions, I had trouble capturing good photos, but I got a few shots and 2 good videos. Check em’ out…

After our guides gave everyone an awesome 30 second lesson on how to rappel, we were underway. This photo is the first rappel and was no F’ing joke. Notice the rope disappears into the curtain of the waterfall, which was thumping. This offered an excellent simulation of drowning and was a little extreme, even by my standards.I went first and half way down I started thinking about the best address for Stevie to send the divorce papers.

On the second waterfall I took video of Stevie. 
At least the 2nd waterfall was a dry rap, but it was still technical. The rocks were slippery as hell. And did I mention that this day was Stevie’s first time rappelling, EVER?
(click photos to enlarge, its the only way to see her and gives perspective on the size of these waterfalls)

Our group started looking a little tired so about 3 hours into our “3 hour tour” I asked the guide how much farther to the bottom. She replied that we were half way there. I did the quick math and enthusiastically announced that we were getting twice the value for our money! Stevie did not think that was funny.

I had done a pretty good job keeping Stevie calm up until the final rappel. We walked around a corner and saw a HUGE horizon line. The rap was about 120 feet into a deep pool of turbulent water. From there you had to disconnect from the rope while treading water, swim into a cave, and then swim down another rapid. It is my belief that this was where the seeds of revenge were first planted in Stevie’s mind. 

Want to see the birth of revenge?

More seriously, I love that Stevie and I open doors for each other in our relationship. I would never see all the amazing museums if she was not in my life, and she would not experience nature in its many raw forms.

I love that we can share our passions while broadening each others horizons.  

This I can tell you, Stevie stepped up and was a complete super star! She did things I just never thought I’d see her do, without tears and without complaint.
However, at the end of our adventure she gave me a sweet kiss and whispered into my ear with a calm, bone chilling voice…
“I am so happy that you love museums sweetie. Lets explore the city tomorrow”
Wait a second, THAT’S MOTIVE! Can I get a witness? I think she wants revenge.



  1. tree, you're cruel. just kidding, but take it easy buddy!

  2. OMG! Reminds me of the scuba diving equipment I used in Brazil. What an adrenaline rush! OMG! You go Stevie!

  3. Terry Daniels says:

    My favorite post so far. Stevie is a stud!! What a trooper she is, your a lucky man Tree!!

  4. Jenica Fonttenaus says:

    OMG……LMAO……….that brought tears to my eyes!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I want to hear Stevie's view of this story. Man, don't risk the love of your life too far!

  6. Stevie's side of the story is that she loves me and our adventures! We're off on another one. We are offline until sunday. Stay tuned for a new post soon! TREE

  7. Anonymous says:

    You two are amazing. Its so wonderfulto watch you both do things for one another. It is the epitome of love. I know you will continue to take care of one another. And thank you for setting such a great example for the rest of us!
    – sis

  8. Heather and Scott says:

    Tree, You are so damn funny. This post was fantastic. We both laughed our a**es off. I def want to read Stevie's take on all these "adventures". -Heather

  9. Tim Widmer says:

    I met a guy who runs tours in Oregon last year. Those little rafts are comical. Looks like you guys are getting a double dose. Adventure travel, and adventure.. lol. Next thing you will be showing is bungy jumping. You could probably find a bridge to jump off of. (Bungee) Have you checked this place out yet?

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