Is it a boy? Is it a girl?

I am five months pregnant, and in a few days, I will have an ultrasound in Lima that will reveal the sex of the baby.  I’m writing this post in advance, but won’t publish it until we know, boy or girl, so that we can share the news with you too. (No scrolling down to the bottom!!!)

I can honestly say that, either way—boy or girl—Tree and I will be ecstatic…. but for very different reasons. Although, we can’t speak from personal experience yet, from what we’ve witnessed through observing friends and family, raising little boys and little girls appears to be two very different experiences.

Why I think a GIRL would be GREAT….

….for me: I imagine a little mini-me, wearing a black beret, reading Camus by the age of nine.  If I still smoked cigarettes, she would steal the butts and use the remaining tobacco to roll her own, explaining to her très chers amis that, “This is how they do it in Paris.”   She would be clean, calm, and fanatic about academics, but would come home with a wild mane and just enough dirt under her fingernails to belie my little angel’s innocence.

…for Tree:  She would be daddy’s little girl, the apple of his eye.  I see the way he is with his niece, Nica, how they speak their secret language and play pranks on the rest of us, and I know how much a little girl would adore him.  Already, he is a very loving son to his mother, brother to his sister, and husband to me…this would complete his roles to women and deepen his understanding of and affection for us.   Also, I think it would be great for him to share his athletic drive with a daughter, to teach and encourage a girl to test her physical prowess and find strength in her body in ways that aren’t just sexual, as so often happens to young girls today.

Why I think a BOY would be GREAT

…for me:  I imagine a little mini-Tree, and what is not to love about that?  It would be like having a human Mongo running through our lives: lots of injuries, some pee on the walls, but always entertaining.   Also, I would love to meet a man as a baby, a child, to look into his eyes and know him before the walls of manhood are built, when he still shows his emotional complexity and sensitivity without a touch of shame.

…for Tree:  He’d get to have a son, a green-eyed daredevil to teach how to huck waterfalls and drop in on big waves. And what man doesn’t dream of reliving his youth with a tiny version of himself, to get to share all of the joys of boyhood all over again?

That being said, I acknowledge that having any expectations at all, especially ones formulated by blatant gender bias, is silly at best and wickedly unfair at worst.

So why do we do it?  Why do we project ourselves onto the outside world, anthropomorphizing everything from our pets to our toasters?  Awww, are you mad that I bought a new blender? Do you miss your old friend?

Because, for one, we’re a highly narcissistic species, but aside from that, we have a deep desire to connect to others, and the first way we try to establish that connection is by looking for what we know—which is foremost ourselves—inside the object of our attention.

So, it’s only natural that while imagining who our child will be and how we will love him or her, we picture ourselves in miniature.  It’s simply a starting point to explore our feelings, but there is no guarantee that if we have a girl, she will be like me, or if we have a boy, he will be like Tree.  In fact, our child may not be anything like either one of us, and in many ways, it’s dangerous to assume that he or she will.  She may come out with a wrench in one hand and a Makita in the other (we really could use a family mechanic), or he might be a math whiz who dreams of being the next chairman of the Fed.

One thing is for sure, there will be many paths to his or her heart, and our aim as parents is to love our child unconditionally for the person he or she is, and not for whom we want him or her to be.

4 days later….

So are you ready to find out?  Okay…..

 

 


We are THRILLED!!!
She is healthy, strong, and absolutely gorgeous.  As far as I can tell, she’s not wearing a beret or hanging ten, yet,  but it’s of no matter because we’re going to love her even if she turns out to be a republican (there, I said it).

Sadly, I wish I could say the same for the  poor boy who tries to date her.  Tree has put together a little application that he plans to hand out in the surf lineup whenever “one of those little grommets paddles up to my daughter.”  I guess a father’s acceptance only goes so far…

But, with our excitement comes a tinge of loss.  Acutely aware of the ecological devastation our planet faces due to overpopulation, Tree and I plan to have only one child, so we won’t ever know the joy of having a son…unless, of course, we adopt.  You never know!  For now though, we are over the moon with joy for our precious baby girl.

 

Comments

  1. Congrats, you two – I hope all things turn out well.
    Good questions for the guy that dates your daughter, Tree.
    No comment on the republican jab, nor dissertation on why the planet is NOT over populated. (Everyone in the world can fit into Cali., Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Oregon, Washington, Texas and Utah – and have 1200 ft of living space per person – do the math – it is correct. The rest of the world would be unpopulated, free from any human beings. That’s a lot of land!)
    Safe travels, and play nice!
    Cheers,
    John

    • Hey John,
      Thanks man. We’re really excited to become parents. Won’t be long now!

      In response to your observation about the world’s population being able to fit in X number of states, John, come on, that means nothing. I often hear people making this argument and it’s a diversion from the actual issue.

      Maybe it would mean something if “space” was the issue. But unfortunately the population problem is related to unsustainable resource consumption.

      cheers – Tree

      • Nope, this is your special time – ain’t going there about the population!
        You have a great time, you two.
        Always enjoy your posts, and a child on the way is great.
        Travel safely and play nice.
        John

      • Congrats you guys!
        Our first was a girl. You guys are going to have an absolute blast. Get a nice baby wrap and you are set to go. Committed like a class V, rely on your experience, skill, and life experiences. Everything will be just fine.

  2. Suzanne says:

    Congrats Stevie and Tree! Little girls are so much fun! 🙂

    • Thanks so much Suzanne!! We’re so excited! Maybe someday our little one and Annika can have a play date. By the way, are you teaching her french right away? xoxo.

  3. LOVE the last picture… Mongo looks terrified and Kiki looks resigned:) Congrats to you all!

  4. cheryll says:

    I have tears of joy in my eyes, I’m so very happy for you and your tribe! I have heard that little girls learn trust from the safety and security their fathers provide. And I also know from experience that the application to date the daughter is very real! I hope you have found a birthing center where Tree will be welcomed into the room to witness the birth of your precious baby girl and kick off their bonding. Congratulations!!!!! LOVE the belly! Love you mucho! c
    PS Welcome back to the family fold, Mongo:)
    A GIRL…..YIPPPPPEEEEEE!!!

    • Yay!!! I can’t wait for you to meet her! Yes, we found a doctor and clinic that will allow Tree to be with me. We wouldn’t have had it any other way. By the way, do you want to adopt Mongo? He’s a real sweetheart! xoxoxoxo.

  5. Rossana says:

    Felicitaciones Stevie! Muy feliz por la nueva huanchaquera! 🙂 besos desde ya de Amulet .. estamos emocionados de conocerla pronto. Cualquier cosa que necesites aqui estaremos.
    Abrazosss

  6. Anonymous says:

    So happy for u both! This is amazing Stevie!

  7. Anonymous says:

    That girl is going to be as beautiful as her mamma! She’ll be hanging ten in diapers! Congrats you guys! So happy for you both! So inspired after following your journey all this way. Keep it going!!

  8. Cate Brubaker says:

    Congratulations!!!!

  9. Adrianne Chandra Huff says:

    congrats! so exciting 🙂

  10. Pinda Hall says:

    Congratulations!! 🙂

  11. Nanette J Wheeler-Carter says:

    Congratulations

  12. Auntie Alex says:

    If you guys are lucky she’ll be “cool just like Auntie” my name vote is still Rowan Trujillo. 🙂 I can’t wait to meet my little niece! The world will benefit from another strong woman. 🙂 can’t wait!!!!!!

    • She will most definitely be cool just like Auntie Alex….and hopefully just as smart, funny, creative, hardworking, and adorable. xoxoxoxo.

  13. Chad Robinson says:

    Congratulations! This is for the best…A whole lot of worries for Tree once she hits highschool! Did you guys hire a photographer to follow you around? I am starting to notice many staged shots with both of you on-camera….if they ever quit I am available! ( don’t tell Em)

  14. Bobbi Scott says:

    Congrats! Girls rock! OMG, you are going to have SO much fun!

  15. Tatiana Katarina says:

    YAAAAAAYYYYY ♥ Congrats mamas and papas!!

  16. You never know. You could still have your boy. He’s probably hiding behind her. I’m just sayin… #discoverytwinsbysurprise.

    • I wouldn’t mind it, Layla. It might be a little tough in the beginning, but we’d get to have both a girl and a boy, and I wouldn’t have to give up red wine or sushi again. It would be a win-win for everyone!

  17. Chuck Seaman says:

    Congrats to you both, I have 3 boys and 1 girl. Being a father to a girl is completely different, the best antidepressant, hoping it stays that way.

  18. Catherine Hiltgen says:

    Congtatzzzz!!! SOooo exciting! Any names picked out yet? Xoxo

  19. Alexis Collette Mobley says:

    Woohoo!!! Just checked your results…..ur creation will b beautiful…just like the two of u!!! Congrats!!!

  20. Alison Dahl Kelly says:

    That photo with Kiki is priceless! Congrats Mama, sooooo happy for you xx

  21. Cheryll says:

    Tree, you look scared in this picture:) Your precious babe will be beautiful and so blessed to have the two of you as parents.

  22. John Mason says:

    in about 6 months Tree can start telling his raftguide (once a guide always a guide) friends to keep away from his daughter.

  23. Rebecca Mitilineos says:

    Congratulations!

  24. Melissa Albro says:

    Hooray!!!! Congratulations!!

  25. Sean Vierling says:

    Congratz on having a girl. They are so much fun!!!!

  26. Trisha Harrison Neese says:

    So happy for you both! Enjoy enjoy!

  27. Arlene Burns says:

    yahoooooo.. lucky kid, lucky universe…

  28. Congratulations! I’m so very happy for you both. I have a little girl too~she’s 20 now. 🙂

    I just started reading about your adventures and I’m enjoying it so much!

    Holly

    • Hey Holly. Thanks so much for the congrats, following our adventures and especially for commenting! We love hearing back from people. Please stay in touch!

  29. Kelly Schraeder says:

    Girls Rule!

  30. Louisa Baxter says:

    well its definitely one or the other x

  31. Gwyn Lacross says:

    I’m so happy for you guys!

  32. Mariana Rendon says:

    Stevie! It was so exciting to read the blog and finally get to the sex part…lol!
    The baby is blessed to have you both as her parents!!! I cannot wait to see her first pic.
    Lots of love for the three of you! I really hope you come to DF one of these days;)

  33. Cynthia Rouzee Franken says:

    Congrats! A little girl with a tender heart like Stevie! You are going to have a lot of pets. 🙂

  34. Judy Shuman ‎" says:

    She is sooooooo precious, darling and adorable! ~ Joy and Bliss and lots of Love! ~ ♥

  35. Madrigal Madri says:

    pura vida, Grande Amigos !!!!!!!!

  36. Travis Workman says:

    Congrads start working the cleaning of the gun scenario when that first boy shows all nervous and you can be claiming a 44mag at the table laying down the rules

  37. DeeDee Collier Lody says:

    Congrats on a girl!!

  38. mamatuyas says:

    Look out world . , here she comes! . . . A little Wonder-Woman of Possibilities – Lovely and smart as her mommy, and Heart of her Daddy’s Lion-Heart — Adventure Child, World Citizen, Exploration Diva, Hell-Fire on a surfboard, Imperial Kayak-Princess, Coolest Crux-Conqueror, and Child Journalist Extraordinaire!
    From you two she’ll learn to be kind to others, love passionately, think deeply, communicate honestly, and fiercely care for the world . . . (AND how to beat up anyone who leans right, messes with her, or hurts homeless animals) .
    Yee-ha! Its going to be a great ride. I am happy for you.

    • I like the sound of ALL of that!!! What a privilege and a joy it’s going to be to raise our little wonder-woman! We’re so excited. And, we’re so grateful that you are her Noni! What a great example you are for her. We love you!

  39. Michael Upchurch says:

    Im for happy for you congrats, all the best

  40. Anonymous says:

    Oh yeah. She is going to be smart, brave, kind, worldly and oh so beautiful. You two are the PERFECT parents to raise an exceptional little lady. I’m so happy for you. How fun bonding with your little woman. I can’t wait to hear what you name her.

    You know, I knew she was a girl all along.

    Big love to both of you!

  41. So stoked for the tribe,
    Mamatuyas always says it so eloquently, ditto to her reply. I guess the silver goes to the female of the tribe (sound correct Tree?)
    Much Love,
    Willy
    P.S. I will leave it with Cindy

    • Thank you Willy!!! Hold on to the Silver for now….we may be coming home for the holidays and get to have some eggnog together. I’ll keep you posted on our plans. xo.

  42. Anonymous says:

    I’m so happy you will have a “mini,” Stevie! You will find that she is your favorite accessory of all time!! xxx

  43. Corrin Crone Phillips says:

    What wonderful news. She is going to be magic. Neither of you will ever be the same again. Girls are the best (no offense Tree). You two are just the people to raise an extraordinary, smart, determined, charming, creative, compassionate young lady. I can’t wait to meet her. Momma, you radiate in these photos. Love.

  44. Sarah Leith Bahn says:

    YEAH

  45. Tao Franken says:

    You are in trouble now.

  46. Eileen Daley Sanchez says:

    Congrats! I’m telling you, girls are so fun! So happy for you:)

  47. The wonders of a baby are magnificent. You will LOVE being parents…. And the moment she arrives you will feel the most amazing love you’ve ever felt. I’m so happy for you and all of the adventures you are having and will have with baby girl. What a gift to the word.. She is going to be AMAZING.

  48. I KNEW it! Yay!!!!!! Congrats my friends.

  49. Stevie and Tree, congratulation to you both, I am so happy for you, and arguably, I just read THE BEST POST on a blog, full of joy, passion, happiness, and an immense amount of love……not to mention witty and sarcastic too.

    I completely understand your reasoning for only having one child, the world is far too overpopulated without doubt, the earths resources are being pillaged and plundered at an alarming rate, and we are absolutely on THE most destructive path for the planet imaginable.

    However, were there more people/parents like you both having children instead of the irresponsible ones today who ARE having kids and falsely giving themselves the “I’m a Parent” title, I think we would have a much better society.
    Being an only child and growing up without a brother or a sister, I would respectfully ask you to reconsider your one child family, for the reason above, and also for reasons of balance. One is not as much of a balance as two, 3 is not as balanced as four. Yin Yang.
    And plus your daughter would not only have a brother/sister to grow up and play with and share times with, but
    she would also learn much better with a sibling the meaning of sharing, something I unfortunately now realize that growing up an only child does not teach very well.

    Regards and much love to you both,

    Murph.

  50. Madena Bennett says:

    Is this on the set of “days of our Lives”

  51. Walter Burkhardt says:

    Congrats!!! Our kleine Maus was up skiing xc with us today not even two months; and she is getting interactive, already trying to vocalize and returns smiles 🙂

  52. Justin Venable says:

    woop woop!

  53. Congrats!!!

  54. Cathy Alexander says:

    Hi Stevie & Tree: Very excitng and sweet to have a precious little girl! Although trying and worrysome at times they need to be protected in today’s world more than ever! Go with those maternal instincts that knows all and sees all! We’ll a old saying you knocked the balls off or Tree was thinking of you at the time of conceiving! Regardless God Bless, it will be a wonderful experience and joy for you both!!!!! I really like the Tree’s application for dating! There is no formal education for parenting, only instincts, unconditional love, open lines of comunications and you are their parent not a friend! A big brother would help, in the protection department!!!!! Take care: Lots of Love Cathy Alexander

    • Jock Bradley says:

      Most aptly said and very wise advise.

    • Thank you Cathy!! Great advice. I will heed it! Hopefully Tree and I get a chance to come back east sometime soon to introduce the newest little girl to the family. She will definitely be in good company at your house! xoxoxo.

  55. Jene Fielder says:

    Just fantastic,,a wonderful little girl,,congrats to you Stevie and Tree , Kiki, and mango,,
    Soon to be a new soul among us, bringing Joy, !! ..God Bless ..
    Much love to you both..Jenie

  56. Lee Nelson says:

    Congratulations my Darlings!!! You are TOTALLY AMAZING!!!! Love n Huggs

  57. Beckett says:

    Tree and Stevie
    You all are going to have to have the most beautiful little girl. I’m stoked to meet her. Let’s catch up when I get back from yosemite. Lots of stories to impart.
    Love
    Beckett

  58. Carolyn Rose Ward-Schulman says:

    I’m so happy for you. Love, Grandma

  59. Brienna Hall-Ricciardi says:

    Yay!!!!! Super excited!!!

  60. Greg Lavespere says:

    Congratlutions my brother!

  61. Jock Bradley says:

    And so the journey truly begins. . A daughter is a blessing to her parents. You will learn as much about yourself as you will learn about your daughter. It is a magical experience. Enjoy!

  62. Cindy Chischilly says:

    woo hoo congratulations!

  63. This little lady is going be a force to be reckoned with! Congrats you two!
    xo
    val

  64. The reason Tree looks so scared in the picture is in his moment of reflection, he realized: “Did I just hear Stevie say I will be in charge of diaper patrol” @@ I’m having a PTSD meltdown. Do they have shrinks for diaper therapy? Congratz!

  65. Esooooo,,,,ujuuuuuu, felicidades parceros…. best luck ever….

  66. Maria Wingens says:

    Congrats to your baby girl! Enjoy looking forward to her!

  67. post 88……ding ding….

    Congratulations Tree and Stevie. You are going to have one terrific girl. I cant wait to meet her. I’m pretty sure she is going to be hell on wheels just like her folks.

  68. Greg Lavespere says:

    Be prepared for the most incredible feeling you have ever had, which you will feel the first time you hold your daughter. Life will totally come into perspective and you will feel love like you never had before. You will be an incredible father!

  69. Rene Jimenez says:

    felizidades

  70. Candy Benteu says:

    That is so awesome. Tree I sure wish I had your “application” when Rachel was dating. Tata just answered the door with a deep voice saying “What do you want?” … and then asked to see his drivers licence and went out and kicked the tires.

  71. Sam Drevo says:

    congrats. That is so exciting. Glad you and Tree are going to become parents. I never thought I’d see the day for Tree, but I think he will be a great Dad.

    -Sam

    • Auntie Christy says:

      FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!
      Healthy Baby!!!!
      Beautiful Girl!!!!
      We are so happy for you all! Parents, Grand Parents, Aunties! Let the spoiling begin!

      XOOXOX, Auntie C & Uncle P

  72. Stevie,

    It is fun to watch your posts, because it is always comforting to share with someone an experience so close to your own – as I hit 20 weeks on Saturday. It is also quite interesting being pregnant outside of the United States, as the issues/concerns/joys are all a bit different. I am very happy that having the baby in Peru has turned out to be an option for you. Because of the state of health care in Mozambique, and other circumstances, I will be returning to Oregon to have the baby. That said, that is my preferred choice — being close to friends and family. I am glad that you also are able to realize your dream. Please let me know if you ever need help in Lima, as I have a good friend there that could lend a helping hand. Best wishes for the coming months, and enjoy – being pregnant is a true joy!

    Marty

    • Hey Marty. Thank you. It’s funny, we’ve never met, but I feel like I already know you. Maybe it’s all the love we share in common. Having a baby outside the U.S., particularly in a developing country, is very ‘interesting,’ indeed 🙂 I never thought that I’d have to ask my doctor “Will my husband be allowed to be with me?,” let alone that the answer would be “no.” In any case, I’m glad that you’ll be in a safe place with friends and family when you deliver. Angela is going to fly into Lima to help us out for the birth and a couple months after, and I am sooooo appreciative that we will have her. Anyhow, keep growing your orb, and I’ll do mine. Hopefully, we get to meet in person someday. Much love!

  73. Chris Shinpaugh says:

    Treevie, congratulations!! All that work paid off…. P.S. Payton just broke up with her first BF, whew!

    • Thanks Chris!!! Hope our girl is as sweet and smart as your two little angels. I sure do love them. I noticed the cryptic ‘break-up’ posts on Facebook. I bet you’re a little relieved. Don’t get too comfortable, though. Payton is a beauty. I’m sure there’s a line of boys waiting to ask her out. Better print out some applications. xoxo.

  74. Congrats Stevie and Tree! I have a soft spot for little girls b/c it’s just so much fun doing girly things with them. It’s going to be such an adventure for your family. Good point about never knowing how your kids will turn out – in so many cases with friends and family, I’ve seen kids take after neither parents in personality and interests. But that’s what makes it exciting.

    LOVE the Application form to date your daughter.

    • Thank you Liv!!! I would have been equally happy with a boy or a girl, BUT, I have to say, I am sooooooo excited to dress my little girl!! You should do a kid clothes post on A Beautiful Life!!! Much love to you. xoxoxo.

  75. Tyler McAdam says:

    Hey that’s great news. We are having a little boy in 9 days. So stoked!

  76. Anonymous says:

    Usually the greatest blessings we experience come as surprises we least expected. Just let your heart and mind stay wide open to EVERY possibility as she grows. Your barriers will fall, your boundaries will stretch, your heart will open, and you will have the opportunity to become MORE than you ever dreamed you would be. Its True.
    Love to your little Tribe.

  77. Post 100…ding, ding Simko. What can I say….I ditto all of the above, but would only add to the application to date my granddaughter: ” Last thing you must do – is get past Pa”
    Love you,
    Dad

    • Hahahahaha!!! I love the addition to the application!!!!! And I love you! I can’t wait to see you holding your newest granddaughter. xoxo.

  78. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to
    say that I’ve truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

    • Thanks for commenting Dewalt. I’m glad you found us. Either Tree or I try to write at least once a week so you should be getting a new post within a few days. We’ve found sharing the adventure makes it more intense, so thanks for writing. Stay in touch.

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