Back in the hospital… all for ODP

This is going to be another one of those embarrassing posts. The only reason I’m writing it is because Stevie said that if I didn’t, she would.

After 2 months of good health, I found myself back in the hospital. Such a bummer, because the jokes about my last hospitalization when I almost killed myself from drinking too much water had just started to die down, (remember here – Inflamed In The Membrane).

This time the problem was much more serious, or at least I thought it was. It came on slow, like a dull ache. I followed standard operating procedure and ignored it. On day 2 the pain increased, so I mentioned it to Stevie in passing. She raised an eyebrow. On the 3rd morning it hurt. I complained and Stevie, knowing me well, suggested we go to the hospital. I declined. By 2pm I began having dizzy spells. That was it. Stevie called the cab and we were off to Clinica Arequipa, which we were told was the best and most modern hospital in town.

We checked into the emergency room and the doctor started the evaluation.

Let’s see, how would I explain the pain?

My left ball hurts. My entire left groin hurts. Deeply. Aching. Pain. Can barely walk, pain.

<Sigh>… I told you this was going to be embarrassing.

The doctors began the investigation. Pee test. Poke test. Lots of questions.

And, of course, who could forget the ultra-sounding of my testicles.

All tests came back negative. No kidney stones. No hernia.  No testicular cancer. No unseen blockages.

Then came the obvious question,

Doctor –  “What have you been doing for the last few days?”

Me – “Umm, well, I’ve been sitting. Sitting on an uncomfortable piece-of-crap chair. For like, three weeks now. About 10-12 hours a day. Oh, except for the last couple days. I had a good 35 hour sitting session, about 23 hours of which was complete, un-interrupted sitting. Would that cause a problem?”

Diagnosis – yes, that would cause a problem.

Apparently, sitting hunched over on a crappy chair for long, extended periods of time over 3 weeks can indeed cause muscle cramping in a certain area that then escalates into serious inflammation and a full seizing up of the entire lower region of one’s manhood.

I know, it was a first for me too. Who knew? My best friend Simko probably said it best on g-chat later that day…

“Only, and I mean ONLY you, could get injured from sitting in a chair”.

Fair enough Sisko Kid.

The doctor gave me some pills, told me to go home and stay horizontal. So now I’m working on the couch.

The good news is that during all that sitting, I was working, and we were able to successfully launch a brand new Outdoorplay website.

This was a huge project for us. We’ve expanded from being one of the top kayaking retailers in the country to branching off into new categories, like outdoor clothing, rock climbing, camping gear, and more. Now, not only can you get your kayaking gear at ODP, but you can get a tent, sleeping bag, headlamp, climbing gear, bike rack, or a patagonia down jacket!

We’ve got a good amount of gear in stock at our Hood River warehouse now, and over the next 6 months we’ll be significantly increasing the offering. 

Need something? Save 20% as a Sprinter Life reader. Use this coupon at checkout…

Coupon Code – SPRINTER

Note: This coupon excludes items on sale and some vendors. Send me an email if you have a specific request.

I’m really proud of Outdoorplay. I started this company in my garage in 1995 with 2 kayaks and a small loan from a great friend (thanks Leslie). Over the years we’ve managed to grow organically (without investment capital or acquisitions). We’ve got a great team of people who work really hard, and I’m excited to see where this next step takes us.

And so, our time in Arequipa comes to an end. We’ll be hitting the road in a couple of days, heading up to the Sacred Valley to hook up with our good friend Marco at his Adventure Destination Resort, Cola De Mono (The Monkeys Tail).  I did mention that Marco has a pimp pad in a prime location in the Sacred Valley, right?

Off we go.





  1. Seriously. You are killin me.

  2. Glad to hear Tree is on the mend. My hubby sits at the computer all the time playing games, gonna show him this.
    Of course Sol as (more) beautiful as ever! Thanks for sharing.

  3. My balls hurt now from reading this…

  4. Cathy Alexander says:

    Hi Tree, Stevie, Soleil, KiKi, We’ll that was weird! You should of adjusted your balls before sitting down and not sit on your balls for 24/7! You better get a better chair to! I don’t know your face looks kind of drawn! Seriously, I hope you are ok! Never heard of this? Maybe you should every now & then get up and walk around! I hope you feel better!!!! Love Cathy Ps: Soleil looks cute in the pictures!!!!!!

  5. This is a classic one Tree, congrats though on the expansion! And Sol is such a doll!!

  6. Great Aunt Debby and Great Uncle Barry says:

    Wow. You are cracking me up Tree.
    Stevie and Sol, Thanks for taking such good care of him.
    Sol you are getting so big and we are still waiting for your laughing video.


    • sorry, the video is coming. We have so many great moments to share, it’s just super wicked hard to catch them on film.

  7. Daniel Keown says:

    You are always sick.

    • Daniel, Here’s a pearl for ya – Sick and injured are two different things. I’m never sick. And if you’re not getting injured, then you’re not trying hard enough in life. Suerte hermano. -TREE

  8. John Welcher says:

    Positive thoughts & prayers of healing for you.

  9. Phew bro, you had me worried. Great to know you’re fine. I’m so glad that you guys are finally going to the Cusco area – probably the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen, with a diversity of people and stuff to do. I’m sure you’ll love it. Miss you guys! Oh, and Soleil is absolutely encantadora!

  10. Alexander Roberts says:

    So … you’re not sick and you’re not injured ? Do you have a thing for nurses outfits ? Problem solved (@ Stevie) –

  11. Darn it! Guess you guys need to come home and raise Sol here since you keep getting sick. oh well.

  12. Take care bro……!!!

  13. Gabe Sladek Musolf says:

    great post….I had to laugh, but I am so glad that it wasn’t more serious. I think something is telling you to get into a kayak, go climbing, go surfing….give your “boys” a break lol!!!! And your sweet daughter is just growing so fast

  14. Glad it was just a work related problem and not from too much fun!

  15. Lorraine says:

    A Scenic Tour of Latin American Hospitals by SprinterLife, available in bookstores soon.

  16. Add some baking soda in your water … Raisin our PH levels help our bodies regenerate cells! its a must

  17. Learn something new everyday wow

  18. um, ok if I let out just a little “tee-hee?”

  19. Mick Evans says:

    TREE – the key to surviving water consumption and chair sitting is, as in all things….MODERATION !! *grins*

  20. You can easily tell your life long friends from your new, the new continue to be shocked by these stories, the old (like me,)aren’t sure what the big deal is, it’s who you are. Have fun out there.

  21. Shinpaugh says:

    All of this is happening because you did not honor your super bowl bet.

  22. Anonymous says:

    What one does for attention is a reflection of……………………….
    well, never mind.

    Baby Sol is adorable!

  23. Wow, I hope you feel better!!!!

  24. put outdoor play into google…first listed! right on!

  25. Patrick O'Keeffe says:

    chin up

  26. Tree, I have this same problem and would prefer a major dose of carpal tunnels any day.
    I will private message you about my experience (not fun).

  27. Anonymous says:

    Man oh Man! Glad you’re okay Tree and you guys are hittin the road. Stevie, Sol looks soooooooooo much like you in the last picture on this blog post! Safe travels! xxoo

  28. You’re fine, rub some dirt on it and get back out there! Feel better

  29. Jene Fielder says:

    you gotta sleep to keep strong, and healthy, Like it or not Superman!

  30. Nonituyas says:

    Simko has it right on, andI had to laugh at this one . . . The irony is wonderful, Tree . . . Extreme Sitting!

  31. Nonituyas also says: says:

    Please bring my granddaughter back soon? We miss her.

  32. Glad are you are getting better -Outdoorplay website looks awesome

  33. Carry On My surfer, climber , traveler Tree:)

  34. It’s your sperm getting back at you for the vasectomy, I told you they would! You never listen to me. Your sperm are pissed and they will stop at nothing to seek their revenge.

    Only one thing to do, have it reversed. Act quick before they strike again.

  35. Classic man. And I say that after sitting on rough concrete steps for the last three hours trying to upload a video on Mexico’s slowest internet connection. Congrats on the new ODP too, looks great.

  36. You da man Tree. Site looks bad to the bone!

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